Last weekend we took G through her very first haunted house.... (well, first haunted house if we don't count Disneyland's Haunted Mansion.)
On Sunday we had traveled a little north of our house to check out one of those super-sized temporary Halloween stores to see if they had anything new and interesting. While wandering the aisles of this Costco-sized wonderland of mayhem, we discovered the facade of a shack off to one side, signs all over talking about the rules and regulations of visiting the haunted house. In smaller print, but brightly colored fliers, we saw they had the house opened on the weekends from 2-5 in the afternoon for the "kid friendly" version... meaning the house lights were kept up, and there were no actors jumping out. Only $5.00 for kids, and parents are free.
D asked G if she wanted to check it out, and she very dramatically hid behind his leg, making herself shake with fake fright and saying "nononononononononononono!" I asked her if she would go through holding *my* hand, and she looked at me and said "O-k-k-k-kay..."
Here is an example of where the differences in our parenting styles comes in handy. Why would she hold my hand and not D's? Because from her point of view, Daddy isn't afraid of
anything, and therefore will go through something like a terribly scary haunted house without any problem. Whereas Mommy has phobias and approaches new situations with a proper amount of trepidation, and therefore Mommy will accommodate her fears and wait patiently for G to be ready for something new. (In other words... if Mommy is doing it, it must not be *that* bad.)
This is somewhat true. I don't accommodate her fears by avoiding the new experiences she is afraid of, but I am uniquely qualified to listen to why she is afraid of something, and find a path for her to approach it in a way that will work for her... seeing as how
I've been there.
I remember being a little older than G's age, and going to the Beaverton Mall with my sister and a few of her friends, where we could trick-or-treat from store to store out of the rain, and also visit the haunted house set up in one of the empty store fronts. My parents said my sister could go, but only if she kept an eye on me... they wanted to go in the haunted house, so I had to stay with them. I had absolutely no idea what I was in for, just that I was being dragged along.
Now, as you read this story... try to imagine yourself as me at that age. I'm sure you can all remember being 8, just do that, then take about 6 inches off your height. I'll put it this way... when I was in the sixth grade, people thought I was a first grader... that's how short I was.
The haunted house had "tour guides" taking us in by groups, to keep us moving along I guess. All I can really remember from the beginning of it was that we went from a brightly lit and cheerful mall into a place that was dark, loud, crowded, and confusing. I was shoved back and forth between my sister's friends, slammed into walls, and surrounded by screaming 5th graders trying to use me as a shield against the actors. I'd see splashes here and there of the scenes before being wrangled into the next area, until we hit about the mid-point... which I remember like it was yesterday.
One minute I was squished between too many large bodies, stumbling down a narrow passage, the next I'm thrown into a large square room painted black, with bright white polka-dots everywere, and a strobe light going at a high speed. It was the first time I'd ever seen a strobe light, and I lost the entire group at that point... the light against their shadows and the flickering of white polka-dots was disorienting. By this time I was absolutely sobbing, and I heard them yell at me to come on, but I firmly planted my feet in the ground and refused to budge... just screaming "GET ME OUT!" over and over again. There was a lot of movement, loud voices, their silloettes jumping across the room to the path out... and then I felt strong hands on my arms and I blinked...
...and I stood staring at a very confused looking teenager, applying green face makeup in the mirror of a brightly lit dressing room.
Our amazing tour guide had moved our group along and pulled me out a secret panel in the wall to their break room. He stood with me until I calmed my crying, then walked me around the outside of the mall and back to the front of the haunted house, all the while telling me that *he* thought I was *very brave* for standing my ground and demanding to be pulled out, because everybody else who got scared would just cry all the way through but not be *brave* enough to say something.
Looking back I realize how very kind he was being to me... I'm certain kids got scared in that haunted house before, but as a general rule I was wound up tighter than... I'd say tighter than 95% of the general population - and let's be honest, what he called "standing my ground" was just a gentle way of saying "have a hysterical fit"... which I'm fairly certain he didn't come across every night. But he handled it amazingly well - that poor guy.
I did not want G's first experience to be anything like mine, so I thought that a lights up and no actors situation could possibly be a good introduction to haunted houses.
To prepare her, we walked a couple aisles of the store and I showed her some of the scary displays, and explained when we go into the haunted house, it would be filled with stuff like this. We waited in a short line, and I explained there might be some sounds of thunder or a soundtrack playing, and showed her the speakers. As we made our way through the narrow passages of the house itself, we would approach a freaky looking statue or scary clown doll reaching out... G would hold my hand and walk behind me as we approached it, then we would stop so she could look back at it and see that it was just a decoration. (Somehow it is less scary once you've made it past - I'm guessing because you now know it's not going to do anything to you) She didn't like the black room with neon dots that had the strobe light going - even though the house lights dimmed the effect, but she found the blacklight fascinating ("Mommy! You have dust EVERYWHERE! Look! My socks are glowing!") The exit passage was one of those super narrow tunnels that gets narrower as you get to the end. She didn't want to push her way through until I explained it was - indeed - just like the bouncey houses she's been in hundreds of times before. She ran through, then I made her pull me through because I kept getting "stuck", then she had to turn and pull Daddy through... and by the time we made it out she was giggling.
Back through the store, she kept picking up giant - and I mean CREEPY giant - bugs and saying "we should put this over the door!" "Let's get this for the bathroom!" We ended up with some shrouds, a giant toad, and a few snakes to add to our Halloween Delights.
That night at home, while I finished applying some cobwebs to a few windows, I heard G upstairs in her room... taking one of the giant snakes we had purchased and having it slink through Strawberry Shortcake's little village.
(Lyrical title: Addams Family Theme Song)
